Missed Part 2? Read it here:
I’m back there again.
To that day that I lost her.
Nina and I are already doing our thing, and Annalise is helping civilians escape the terra’s path before it can move again.
Terras are all unpredictable, but T12 is violent. It doesn’t tolerate our harrying like some. It fights back hard.
The blockers are having trouble keeping it restrained, and it’s managed to reach a lonely little town. No terra had ever touched this place before. They thought they were safe, but T12 reminded them they weren’t.
Kyra slices its front leg as its severed back leg regrows. Standard. Its visible limbs are unprotected, and while they regrow fast, it gives us time.
Today feels like nothing more than a training sim.
But T12 twitches, and as the front leg is severed, the limb shoots like a bullet at the townsfolk.
Annalise is still with the civilians. They see the stony flesh rocketing toward them, and they run. In his flight of terror, a man pushes Annalise. It’s so needless.
He wasn’t trying to kill her. But he did.
She falls to the ground, and before she can push herself back up, the stone collapses upon her.
Absurdity.
It’s not real.
Not like that.
Couldn’t be like that.
I’m frozen. I don’t know how long I float there. Just staring. Couldn’t have been long.
Then Ben screams into my ear, “Don’t do it, Mikel!”
I don’t even know what I’m doing until he says that.
I’m holding a gun. Not a gun. Tiny little device. Looks like a derringer. Or a toy pistol.
A failsafe. For if we need to reincarnate abruptly.
It’s meant to escape our suits before catastrophic damage. A last-ditch effort to prevent operator death. It won’t kill me, but it’s risky.
I can go back to the underground base and reincarnate slowly, over minutes, or pull the trigger and go back now.
She is already back, and she’s probably dying, surrounded by medical professionals.
How long does she have?
Will I see her before she dies if I wait to reincarnate slowly?
I can’t leave her alone.
Even if it means abandoning my unit.
I lift the failsafe to my temple and pull the trigger.
I don’t feel the impact, but when I open my eyes, my body is wrong. Everything hurts. There’s no waiting medical team, and the pod is still sealed shut. I rip at the emergency lever, and the lid pops open.
Tearing the tubes and wires from my body, I climb out onto the tile and stagger forward. My legs are weak, shaking like a baby deer, and I feel like someone has their hands buried in my chest and stomach, squeezing with a vice grip.
Alarms are going off around me, and I hear people shouting from down the hall, too.
From 201b.
Frantic voices layer over one another in chaos, and I strain to make out what’s being said.
As I force myself forward, it’s like I’m walking through molasses. Only a few feet stretch between me and the door, but I only make it to the center table before I start to collapse. I grab the mattress as my knees buckle and try to pull myself back up.
My medical team is with me now, lifting me onto the table as I protest. I can’t move anymore, and my vision is fading.
I destroyed myself to be with her, and I couldn’t even make it past my own door.
I hate losing consciousness in my suit.
It makes you remember things you want to forget.
As I open my eyes, I see her for one beautiful moment. She’s patching me up again like she always did.
But it’s not her. Of course, it’s not.
It’s Pierre, looking at me with concern and no small amount of judgment.
They know I’m losing my mind.
Nina’s lance got me good, but this wasn’t a real battlefield. They caught me, the sim cut off, and Pierre and Julie worked their magic to save me.
Nothing a Suit can’t handle.
Training is over unceremoniously, and we return to the bunker. No one speaks this time.
There are no offers from Adam and Pierre to join them for dinner, but Pierre gives a parting hug that lingers. Nina and Ben exchange a look, holding hands as they enter the elevator. Even the singles look at me with pity.
I wait until they’re all gone before I follow. The elevator ride is long, and I don’t want the awkward silence.
I find my room and step inside, closing the door behind me. No medical equipment here. It’s more like an electronics workshop than anything else. I sit on the table, and automated devices scan me, patching what little damage Pierre and Julie couldn’t complete in the field.
When it’s over, I slide into my pod. No IVs or sensors here, either. Just the click of the lid closing above me, and then I’m out, reincarnating to my true self.
As I wake up, I realize I’m not in my pod. I’m not even in 201a. I’m in one of the hospital beds on the Pod Center’s above-ground floors.
I curse with a sigh, running a hand through my hair.
From the aches in my body, I know I had a rough reincarnation. I must’ve crashed.
I crash almost every reincarnation now, and when I wake up in a hospital room instead of my pod, I feel like I’ve failed.
“Good morning, Mikel.”
David stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed.
“I know what you’re here for,” I say. I cough, rubbing my throat. “Shit. How long was I out?”
“Three days,” David says, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.
“You’re not letting me go back, are you?”
David settles into the chair next to the bed, folding his hands in front of him. He’s quiet for a time, staring intently at a spot of nothing on the white bedsheets. He doesn’t meet my eyes.
Finally, he says, “No. If this hadn’t been a sim, you would’ve died, Mikel.”
“And the terra would have been disabled. I cracked its shell before I got hit.”
I can’t lose this. It’s all I have left.
David’s mouth twitched, and a little muscle in his jaw worked overtime. “If you won’t think of yourself, think of the unit. You’re becoming a liability.”
My skin prickles. “I’d never let anyone get hurt for me.”
“Tell that to Nina.”
I flinch.
That day, after I used the failsafe, Nina had to take down the terra as a solo executioner. She got wounded. Bad. While her suit could fly, her real body would never walk again.
I caused that.
My fault.
“I don’t know what to do if I don’t have this,” I say. “I was raised in this, and I don’t have anyone left.”
David doesn’t have an answer, either. He just sits there, waiting for me to say the hard things.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore, but letting someone else get maimed or die for my loneliness is something I can’t tolerate.
I murmur, “I’ll do it. The medical discharge.”
With a sigh, David stands and claps a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll still be here for you, Mikel. But maybe we’ll go fishing instead of fighting mountains.”
As he leaves, I stare at my hands.
What happens when you shelve a weapon?
Can I have a peaceful life?
Do I even want one?
Ready for Part 4? Read it here:
What’s My Line Again? - Supernova (Part 4 of 5)
I've always been a good show pony. Smile. Wave. Hold the line while the world screams.
This feels very gripping. I want to see what happens next...
I can't find your answer about Dune Nova.😞😞😞😞 I know I saw there was one. Apologies. Would you please re express your elucidations upon it ma'am,?